"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love."
~Woody Allen.
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred
percent."
~RD Laing.
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between
five, it's fantastic."
~Woody Allen
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
~Emo Philips.
"It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who."
~Joan Rivers.
"Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start
talking to them."
~Steve Martin.
"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose;
they should draw the line at goats though."
~Elton John.
"I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
~Woody Allen
"When I'm good I'm very, very good but
when I'm bad I'm better."
~Mae West.
